Writing Is My Drink

Seven years ago Hera McLeod told the story of her son Prince’s death to our class huddled around a long table, and I don’t think any of us in that room will ever forget it. But the memory that’s most vivid for me from that evening: Hera’s clarity and determination to share her experience. She would be writing and publishing this book–there was no doubt.

And last week the book became real: Defying Silence: A Memoir of a Mother’s Loss and Courage in the Face of Injustice is out and available for purchase and telling everyone the story we heard part of around that table years ago. I interviewed Hera about her experience of writing and the publishing Defying Silence. Her answers contain a lot of wisdom, both for survivors and writers at work on a memoir.

Theo Nestor: What’s this book about and why did you need to write it?

Hera McLeod: A little over a decade ago, my son Prince was murdered by his father. Prior to the murder, I fought for 12 months trying to keep access supervised. Though my son’s father has since been arrested and is serving a life sentence in prison, I’ve had this unsettling feeling that full justice wasn’t served. For me, full justice can only happen when the same trauma/tragedy couldn’t happen again – with the same variables of circumstances. I wrote this book to validate survivors – as the book I wish I’d had while I was going through the trauma. And I wrote this book to expose the deep fractures in our court system that continue to leave children vulnerable. 

Theo Nestor: What were the greatest challenges you faced while writing this book?

Hera McLeod: For the type of change I’m hoping to push by telling my story, I had to walk through some deep trauma. It took me over a decade to publish this and it’s because I needed time to get my first draft out, process more trauma, pick it back up and walk through it again, and then put it down and get additional perspective. When I took Theo Nestor’s memoir class years ago, I thought I was ready to publish and I could’ve published a version back then. But what I learned, as a result of having a safe writing space/community to process, was that I needed more time and perspective. And in the last year, I’ve finally felt ready to publish the story I believe would make my son proud.

Theo Nestor: What has it been like so far to put this book out into the world?

Hera McLeod: Publishing has been a long, hard slog. Years ago, I had an agent whom I’ve since parted ways with. Over the course of a year working with her, I realized that I was being asked to make compromises with the book that didn’t feel right to me. After parting ways, I took a while to think about why I was writing the book and what I truly wanted. To me, one of the most important things was to tell my story without compromising my mission to inform, advocate, and push for justice. So I decided to have faith in the platform I’ve built over the last decade, mostly in survivor and advocate communities, and self-publish. I have zero regrets in doing this because I can firmly say that I am so proud of what I’ve created – it’s the exact book I dreamed of writing a decade ago. 

Theo Nestor: Thank you for sharing your experience, Hera. I appreciate your formidable courage. Readers, you can learn more about Hera McLeod and where to buy her book below.

Hera McLeod is a Washington, DC-based writer, speaker, and civil rights activist. She’s known for speaking out against the silence, particularly on the topics of civil rights for children, domestic violence, and family court reform. She’s published articles in The Washington Post, The New York Times, The Seattle Times, and The Huffington Post. Hera’s advocacy has contributed to successful ratification of laws related to family court reform and child safety across the United States of America. Defying Silence is her first book. You can follow her on Facebook and Instagram . Links to where you can purchase her book are on the book tab of her website here: https://heramcleod.com/books/defying-silence/